New Years Eve Video Blog

Eghck...

2008 will be coming to an end. So many people talking about fresh starts, new beginnings, etc. The same things that you had to deal with in 2008, will be there in 2009. Drama, bullshit, people entering and exiting your life.. it will all be there. So no need for New Years Resolutions because most don't even keep them.

Moms is coming upon the half century mark so I think I want to get her things that have to do with that.

I'm feeling the burnout from that "prison". So I have to look elsewhere. I'm gonna need a second gig, since I have newly added responsibilities.(Someone tell her to suck on that.)

Tania good looks on cutting the dead weight.

I'm saying if Ray J can get a reality show, then fuck let me get one.

Am I Really Thankful?

Another Christmas has passed and now we are facing 2009 w/ less than a week to go. So I look back on 2008, I can say that it has had its moments. Speaking of Xmas, I hope that everyone should remember the true meaning of this holiday, not to just go out and get presents. You can get that at anytime of the year.

So GMC has been granted the funds to keep itself afloat. Now the company that I work for is a vendor for the company(Titling and some other shit.), but they set forth a salary freeze for all of 2009. Meaning if you are in line for a raise, you'll be getting that in 2010. I'd rather use my services elsewhere. I could be in the situation that I was in last year, but things are getting better for me so I'm keeping positive fingers crossed.

I am so grateful to have her around. Even when I am acting up, she still is there.

I am thankful for these words:

"I think that you show wonderful character. You aren't biased with your opinions & you're straight forward. A very kindhearted individual who's not afraid to still tell it like it is. A person not really prone to receiving compliments but deserves every one that comes his way. You are indeed priceless sweetheart.
Only in fear that someone undeserving may cross your path, I'm protecting you cuz Official Derek/Cooley/McCools loving is non-refundable and you can't afford to lose any cause that some powerful stuff!! Priceless but way more valuable than life itself!!! It's your loving! And the fact that it's genuine love is a definite bonus."

Thank you Cey-Cey. Even though I tell her daily that she's a really great friend, she shares the love in return.

I am thankful for those two good friends of mine that found love in 2008. I hope that they are able to keep it strong and healthy.

I am going to pray for her. It's sad that she only tells people half the truth or tries to justify her actions. If anyone asks me about the situation, I'll tell them straight up what it was and what it didn't end up being. Of course they'll believe HERstory(You were wrong TLC, they don't believe HIStory.)

"Maybe I'm exhausted, maybe I just lost it
Maybe I should pick up a pen and try 'n force it
Same old story, guts and no glory
They tryna low ball me, do him like Joe Torre" - Joe Budden "All Of Me"

Video Blog

I'm saying how you gonna roast someone when you look like Swamp Thing?

Goodbye.

"And I wish I could make it like it used to be
Can't believe I'm through loving you
And you're through loving me, you
And in the middle of my final tears
You call out my name, my name
You cried out my name
But it could never be the same
Cause this is all I have" - Amerie "All I Have"

Sometimes we come to a crossroad where you have to make a decision. Most of the time that decision is for good or worse(depending on how you look at it). You tried and tried but some things you said or did, can't be taken back. So pretty much you are stuck between a rock and hard place. So what's next? Do you stay or do you go?

2008 had it's moments, both good and bad. I know 2009 will bring forth more of the same.

Kick..Push?

"And if he hadn't been such an insufferable jerk, if his life hadn't fallen apart, if he had valued his gift instead of running from it—shunning the spotlight, carousing, disfiguring his face during a bizarre boxing career, pushing away everyone who cared about him—maybe Rourke would have been the next DeNiro instead of a cautionary tale." - Bill Simmons

My father is probably the main reason that I feel this way. There have been others but he's the focal point. Seems as though when you are at a certain age, and you have people that enter your life for whatever reason, for me it gets to the point of where I'm seeing the ending in a distance. I try to remain positive and hold on but that rope breaks. Friendship/Relationship dies. We move on with our lives. Then later on down the road, in some instances, you get in touch with that person. They're doing well, starting a family, big things popping, etc. But you may wonder what would've happened if that person stayed in your life. How would they affect your well being? Do they have in ulterior motive? Sometimes, you see that person was really there for you(I hate that statement damn reality shows). Other times you cut the grass and the snakes started to show.

Me personally? I think the course lies deeper than the surface. Back when my mother was a Jehovah's Witness, I had an older guy that used to study with me. When I say study, read the publications so that in the future you can officially become one. Speaking of which, I tried to fit in with the youth there and it didn't work. So pretty much when my mother started visiting my best friend's mother, that's how we became close. But getting back to the story. The guy name was Tony and he was married. No kids...well when I used to be there he had none. I saw him some years later and he had a little boy with him. But he was like a positive male role model(used to make sure that I was listening to my mother, doing well in school, etc) So I'm used to being around him all the time and then he tells me one day that he's going to stop studying with me. So I'm like what the fuck? Just some bullshit that was in my ear. So when that was over, I didn't want to attend anymore. So when my best friend went and told her mother that she wasn't trying to go any more, I made sure that I told my mother the same thing. It wasn't like I was a problem child. So mainly that's why I stay to myself. When I access pages on Myspace, Facebook, Crushspot, etc. and I see the photos and read the stories of how a group of friends just had a great weekend, I wished I could've had that experience too. I guess it wasn't in God's plan for me to have that kind of life. My mother and other people say that I belong in Church(I'm guessing that's when I'll come of age.) But I rather just stay in the background. Although at times, I see things and think of ways that I could do it so much more better. I get annoyed with some people who don't take advantage of their well like personalities because they can go so much further than where they are. But they just waste it on stupidity. Eh their loss.

Wow I wasn't expecting to write that much but I guess I just had something things that I wanted to get out of my system.

Video Blog - Relationships

Let me know what you think.