2am.. Where Do I Begin?

Depression - Psychiatry. a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason.

So I'll say for the past few weeks or so, that above definition has described me to a t. I could pin point it on the source of that feeling (Hello PDP) but I think it's deeper than that. Like I feel as if I want to just snap but I can't let my emotions get the best of me. I try to put on a smile but it doesn't work. So what's next? Relationship strains? Deeper withdrawal? Alcohol? This pain is digging deep and I don't see it ending anytime soon.

I know someone will read this and say: "Hey, you can talk to me." But what are you going to say? Tell me that everything will be alright? This that and the other? I mean you can say the same things over and over but it still doesn't mask the pain that I'm feeling right now. Plus from what I see, most people that I could consider talking to, have other things to deal with.

Normally, I would just write and write but I've hit a slight writer's block. And I'm most hard when it comes to myself in that department. Then it's like I ask for help or suggestions and people make it seem like you are bothering them. So that in turns makes me feel more guilty.

*deep breath*

Don't be surprised if decide to just head out somewhere. I've been thinking about it and that plan will go into effect this summer.