What Does Your Opinion Amount To?

"And if I ever.. let the words, of another nigga bother me
I might as well.. let the sperm, of that other nigga father me" - DMX "Some X Shit"

I wonder what are the intentions of those that think their opinions
really matter? Granted yeah some people are complete idiots and need to be examined.
But who are we to judge?

You can't tell a person how to live their life.

It's some things that I don't agree with but those people will have deal with
decisions that they make.

Playing Follow The Leader

"Hanging w/ those scalawags
Then she started sniffing coke
Giving butt all through the hood
Still but of average ho
Catch her down at Secrets where them trap boyz be
Jukin' on the flo (on the flo) catch a nose bleed
Funny thing is those girls that she really wanna be
Steady laugh behind her back calling her a wannabe
Wanna hit it raw all you gotta do is play that Weezy
It's easy wake up in the morning, pop that E-Z
Headed to the White House I ain't talking DC
White girl lost clear as a bottle of Fuji" - Kidz In The Hall "The In-Crowd"

Well I was in a writing mood this evening but I got hit with some bad news. But I'll try to make the most of this blog.

Most of us while growing up, wanted to be accepted so in order to be considered "cool",
you had to do something to prove that you were worthy of such status. Whether it was stealing something, playing a prank or anything else that made you worthy enough, you had to prove that you were cool enough to roll with the crew. Most of the time you got away with it and gained some new friends in the process. But some weren't so lucky. Those ones received punishment from their parents and/or the law enforcement. Which poses another question: Where is that so called crew that was going to have your back?

I didn't worry about fitting in because I was a loner anyway. Plus my mother was strict so if she would've found about me doing some foolishness, that would've been my ass.

Archives

Didn't feel like blogging so here's an old story that I wrote back in 2004.

Road trips are supposed to be enjoyable and take you away from the stress of work and school. However, the last road trip I took was anything but that. After the things I encountered, I was ready to get back home as fast as possible. This road trip didn’t have any bright spots so overall, I wouldn’t want to go on another road trip in the near future. Even today I can remember exactly what happened.

First of all, there were some issues that we had to attend to before embarking on our little trip. Moe, who planned this whole trip, was nowhere to be found. Everyone that was going was supposed to meet at the movie theater at 8:00am. I arrived there at 7:30am and had to wait for the other people who were going on the trip. Then, 30 minutes later, Tosha, Heather, Tymia, Kenneth, Krystle, and Terence finally arrived. Moe, who was late even when he was on time, had overslept due to some late-night partying. So when he arrived at the theater around 9:30am, he looked as if he had been in a knock down/drag out fight. So, Kenneth decides that he would drive just in case Moe started to steer off the highway and we’d all end up in the emergency room.

During the three-hour drive to Virginia, I had an enjoyable conversation with Tymia. She was a little less than 6 feet tall, dark-skinned with long brown hair. She wore glasses and she had a lovely smile. We were discussing the subject of interracial relationships, when out of the corner of my eye I noticed a young lady who needed a little assistance with her car. I motioned to Kenneth, who must’ve been reading my mind because he started to pull over on to the shoulder of the road

so we could lend a little assistance. As Kenneth and I exited the van to go assist the young lady, Heather noticed that the young lady was acting very strange, like she was up to no good. However, Kenneth and I were more concerned about who would be the first to get her number. As soon as we reached her car, the woman pulls out a gun and tells us to empty our pockets. Kenneth, who stands a little more than six feet tall, almost fainted when he saw the gun pointed directly in his face. I kept my usual calmness; and did not comply with her command. The young lady stared at me in a perplexed manner. Seconds later, she started to asked me why my money wasn’t being transferred to her hand. While all of this is going on outside, everyone inside the van is starting to freak out. Tosha was in tears, pleading for Kenneth and I to give her the money and come back to the van. But Krystle wasn’t having any of that. She left out the van with a crazed looked in her eyes, like she was going to do something painful. What was about to happen next I don’t even think the young lady could even imagine this happening to her. Krystle yanked the young lady by her braids and slammed her head into the car door window. When I say smashed, I mean her head went through the glass like it was a rock. Then, the young lady fell to the side of the road unconscious with a bloody face that made it look like she was going to be lying there for a while. Out of all of us, Krystle is the quiet one and I wouldn’t expect that anger to come out of her. Krystle then kicked the motionless young lady to see if she was responsive then she told both of us to get inside the van. As soon as we climbed in, everyone started to exchange jokes.

So we continued our road trip to Virginia. Before we had gone too far, we realized we were starving, so we all stopped at a Waffle House. We all ordered some waffles, fried ham, grits and some orange juice to drink. There was a loud family that sat directly behind us who was enjoying their meal. But their two twin boys were more concerned about irritating us than eating their meal. I became visibly irritated with those two, so I took a large heaping of my grits and I gave one of the twins a nice smash to the face. Next, the other twin tossed some eggs in my direction, but he missed me and instead it hit Tosha upside her head. Tosha, who was the firecracker of the group flipped out and an all out food fight started. It was so messy, that the restaurant had to close for forty-five minutes in order to clean up. The boisterous family wasn’t allowed back inside since they were they ones who initiated the whole food chaos.

Finally, after a long day of driving around and visiting the mall to shop, we decided to patronize a local club just to have a little fun before heading back home. The club bouncers did not want to allow Terence in the club because they thought he was underage. So after he produced his card, we stepped inside the already packed club. It seemed like the locals figured that we were from out of town and decided to test us. So while we were dancing near the bar, three guys decided todisrespect the ladies. Consequently, when we spoke up a fight ensued. Subsequently, minutes later we were tossed out of the club. Next, the club owners decided to press charges against the three guys since they were always causing trouble there. Without too much discussion, we all decided to head home. One thing is certain, I am sure that our road trip afforded us the kind of script that would produce a successful motion picture. Finally we are all in agreement with the writer who stated, “There Is No Place Like Home.”

All Over The Place.

"I pimp hard on a trick, look
Fuck if your leg broke bitch, hop up on your good foot" - Jay-Z "Cashmere Thoughts"

Don't ask me why I put that up there. Shatia kept bugging me about the verse and lucky I happened to have Reasonable Doubt on the PSP.

So today starts another exciting, fantastic work week[/sarcasm]

Nas will officially be on sale tomorrow and I'll grab my copy when I get off of work.

Some things that happened in your lifetime, you might want to block out. They all have an lifelong effect on how you present yourself and how others see you. Me, I tend to just leave that part of my life locked away until it's needed to be presented. Even then it's still hard to talk about it.

Wall-E was a very good movie. I see why the critics rated that movie so high. That's a movie that I would take the godchildren to see.

I know that I said this before, but I feel like a social outcast. It's like I don't want to force myself into other people's lives, but I exclude myself or often get overlooked.

"This can't be life, this can't be love
This can't be right, there's gotta be more, this can't be us
This can't be life, this can't be love
This can't be right, there's gotta be more, this can't be us" - This Can't Be Life

I'm going to start a rough draft of this letter. More like open conversation.

It's been years in the making.

My New Addiction.

First it was Junior's Cheesecake, then it was Nick's from up Gun Hill Rd. Now I have brand new obsession with the City That Never Sleeps. White Castle. Harold & Kumar brought it to the big screen in like 2004 or some shit. Now they sell these in the frozen food section of your local supermarket. But nothing is like actually going to the restaurant and and sinking your teeth into one of those tiny burgers. The Chicken Rings are off the chain too. So when I come from out of the Port Authority after that 4 hour bus ride, I'm going to make a right and head on down to White Castle.

4 Years Ago

I remember my mother asking me something that I thought I would never of hearing come from her: She asked me to give her away at her wedding.

So this was my mother's 2nd attempt at marriage. The first time was like when I was 3 years old and the dude she married was a fucking asshole and a junkie. Now I was too young at the time and I remember my mother telling me how she met him. Hell he was older than my grandmother at the time. I do have some memories (not good ones) of living on 28th Street. I also remember the night that she left him for good. My mother gathered our things and she came around to my grandmother's house. That was the end of that. I remember that he had a son and two daughters. The two daughters I remember were Theresa and Kim. Theresa had a son named Paris, who was slightly younger than me but he was known for riding bikes and things. Kim had a daughter named Regis. Kim didn't like my mother at all, probably because they were around the same age. I dunno. Well their father passed away like a few years later from an OD. And I didn't like him at all. Yeah I was young, I know this but whenever we got off that #8 and we had to cross Greenmount Avenue, I would get sad. I hated that house and just everything associated with it. Wow. I mean that whole experience is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to me. Lack of positive male role models is a primary reason why I don't really associate with males.

So as I pondered the fact if I wanted to give her away or not, I had to think about the new male that she was going to marry. He was older than her, not like her first husband but a some years (I think between 5-7 years). Now I am very protective of who my mother deals with (That's another blog) and so I was really not wanting to meet Anthony at first. I remember one Thanksgiving, she brought him past my grandmother's house and she wanted me to meet him. I wouldn't come downstairs for nothing. So when she left, she called me and she was not too happy either. Nor was my grandmother who really let me have it. I finally did meet him that next year on Mother's Day at the church. We spoke and that was that. He's a very quiet person and he has to warm up to you. But generally, he is a nice person who is into cars and church. (Trust, he knows both of those subjects very well.) I finally gave my mother my decision (I had no option in the matter -- lol). They just celebrated their anniversary yesterday (mad that I wasn't invited *sneer*). But I'm happy for both of them.

Wow if I would've went deeper into this, this would've been mad long.

Parents Past Is Their Childrens Future

So I was at church and my mother was preaching about Beauty. She was discussing how females should accept the beauty for which God gave them because he made each one different. Then she briefly spoke about her past and some mistakes that she made. So it led me to thinking about how some females and males act today and how their children as they get older, inherit those characteristics.

What I mean by that is like relationship wise, if your parents are years apart most likely those kids will do the same in their relationships. It's like a recurring cycle and it's hard to ditch no matter how hard you try to shake it.

Well I know that I have my father's traits, although I don't know much about his childhood and teenage years. Well one thing I didn't follow in was his drug habit. Well that isn't a natural trait that is one brought on. But I think a lot of things that he did, I am currently doing now.

My mother well...I have some of her traits as well. Her strong emotional traits -- Got that.
Caring nature -- that too. Singing talent -- well two out of three isn't bad. But most of the things she did as a teenager, I know I didn't do while coming up.

In the physical department, I would say that younger I took after my mother because I looked like her the most and my father was skinny in family full of not so skinny people. Then once I hit my teenage years, my father's "beautiful family" (as my mother would say) features took over. And we all know how that turned out. I see him every time I stare at a picture.

In the intelligence department, well I graduated from the same high school as did both my parents. I don't even know if my father went to college. I attended the same school that my mother did (when she went there it was Community College Of Baltimore a.k.a. CCB) but I graduated. (CLASS OF '08 BABY!!!!) And of course I was able to live through anything since Magic made it.

I think I need to investigate this further, since I need to write this letter (it's coming babes) to my father. So this might be something that I can ask him about. Well this about ends this entry. I'm out!!!

"Enough with the big head jokes" - George Lopez