Who's Really To Blame?

So a few days ago at the taping of VH1's Hip Hop Honors, KRS-One said that while there is no hip hop without Def Jam, they are the same ones that destroyed it.

Wait..what?

Now as I watched the clip, I understand where Kris was coming from. But you can't put the blame of one label's success for the impending demise as well. Def Jam has been around as long as I've been around. You think about the early days w/ LL Cool J, T La Rock, The Beastie Boys. Then the 90's w/ Jay-Z, DMX, Foxy Brown and later on w/ Ludacris and other acts.

Now if other labels that were around wanted to get that same success that Def Jam did, then they should have did what they had to do in order to get that money. Def Jam knew the rules to the game, so they ran with it. And although most of the marquee, they're still a top notch label.

But fans aren't looking for lyrical skill, they want that simple music. Turn on the radio and what do you hear? Soulja Boy, Gucci Mane (Still don't know why he's being forced down our throats), Lil Wayne, Drake, etc. And every label or genre of hip hop has it's due time. Right now, the bubble gum rap is on the clock.

Moving Forward

Time for me to break free from my shackles and face my past
Watch those demons perish and bad memories shatter like glass
They wonder why I keep my life a secret
Because for 9 months inside my moms belly she kept my life a secret
Doctor's visit confirmed what she already knew
March 4th came and I was a week overdue
So a newborn child, Moms was 21 and didn't know what to do
So for years, we were on the move
Different houses in East Baltimore, her pride heavy so she had so much to prove
Bullied and pushed around during my youth
I inherited a bad attitude just look at my father for proof
Tried to reach out for a relationship and each time it failed
So on that note, I swallowed my pride and bailed
I knew writing this wouldn't be easy
Because talking about myself would have me looking lost like C. Breezy
No bowtie but I cry tears of a clown
Reading this will have you thinking of Lauryn singing All Falls Down
Kept to myself because I was afraid to share all of myself
So this week's events prompted me to take these feelings off the shelf
Writing this eased the pain and made me feel less less in orbit
So here's a middle finger to past and a new strength to keep moving forward

Aftermath

Her words crushed my soul with a right hook
With every word she spoke, left my brain feeling shook
This won't have a happy ending so if you can't handle it, try not to look
So hard to keep the chapters closed when your life's an open book
The pain inflicted cut me open and the wound started to bleed
Had to face what I was running from so a reality check was in need
All she wanted was honesty and I kept something that didn't feel right
Hurt her even more that she had to be the one to bring it to light
So now I lost the part of her that needed most -- trust
With this out in the open, I hope what's left of what we have don't blow away like dust

First Day Of Autumn

My last 24 hours or so has been pure hell to say the least. What I'll say is that things from your past needs to be addressed no matter what the circumstances. The fact that I'm so guarded about my past is because I rather not relive certain events. But I don't feel my normal self. I just feel like my world has imploded within. I don't have anyone to blame but myself. I hope to be forgiven but if not then that's what I'll have to live with.

So now what? I'll just use this to motivate myself in the long run. Like I don't judge anyone since I'm not God. We all have made bad decisions in our past, we all have flaws. Not perfect, none of us.

This just feels so bad. And I wish I could reach out and just talk. But *sigh* what can I do?

I want to say thank you to: Jennifer, Shayla, Shani and Courtney for just listening.

Dear Derek

Once again we meet and as usual, you blame me for the reason that you feel the way you do. I understand that heart and mind may disagree, but it's up to you to get them on the same level. Meaning that you need to get them both playing on the same team if you truly want to be happy.

I know there are relationships that begin and end daily. Most of those individuals are just as lost as you are. They too need to get things together within themselves. But enough about them, let's focus back on you. I'm going to get to the bottom of why you and I butt heads over the years.

First of all, you find yourself attracted to those that do more harm than good. The ones that wouldn't throw water on you of your soul was on fire. The ones that spit a good game but their style states otherwise. I gave you opportunities with those that mattered. Those that were there for you through good and bad. You let them get away. All they wanted was your love. You gave them that and then things went sour.

So instead of blaming me, you need to check yourself. Trying to advance but you can't steal second with your foot on first. Yeah that was a Budden line, but it applies to you. Stop looking for the worst and appreciate what you have from the start. Allowing your insecurities to get the best of you, will have you alone in the long run. Young fool will turn into old fool.

Sincerely,

Love

Pop Culture Headache

I really don't feel like typing this but I'm going to get this out of the way:

If you've been under a rock, Kanye West and Lil Mama both made headlines on Sunday. Kanye interrupted Taylor Swift to say that Beyonce had one of the hottest videos in the decade. Lil Mama crashed Jay-Z and Alicia Keys' performance of Empire State Of Mind. Both acts have been roasted via Twitter. I'm just asking for it to stop because.. it's been old fast.

Weekend's Too Freakin' Short

You close your eyes and wake up, it's Monday morning.

Well this weekend was pretty much cool. Barbershop visit and we always act a fool in there. Then I chilled for the rest of the day. I got the photos to prove it. Had dinner, watched a movie, went to sleep.. you know typical things.

Football season is back in full swing. Ravens won of course so you know I'm good with that.

VMA's came on tonight and I'll give a brief run down of my thoughts:

1. Kanye's will do anything to make headlines.

2. Lady Gaga is a very interesting female.

3. Pink should next be in Ringling Bros.

4. Green Day still got it.

5. Muse is the shit.

6. This should've been #1 to me, but Janet Jackson performance killed.

7. Beyonce does have a heart indeed.

8. Lil Mama's performance crash, ended Jay-Z/Alicia Keys performance on a WTF moment. Currently she's being roasted on Twitter.

Ok so now that's all said and done, I need to take myself to sleep.

Peace.

Morning Blues

So this is the new schedule:

Work: Mon, Wed, & Fri

School: Tues & Thurs

Sat & Sun: ???

The picture is clear, no HD.

So after 3 classes(1 professor was absent and my other class is tomorrow), I think this semester will be decent. Hopefully I will be able to keep focus(who knew that learning about Human Resources could be boring?)

But again, I'm humbled at this opportunity so I'll make the most of it.

First Of The Month..

"... And it starts" - Lupe Fiasco

You know they say when you see signs, you shouldn't ignore them. Well the writing's on the wall and I'm heeding that advice.

But anyway good people, it's been a minute since I last posted something meaningful here. *exhales* But life goes on. Today's the first day of school and as usual, I'm unprepared. I don't have my books (I'll get them on Thursday) but it's good to have your family there to support you through these times.

I am ready to face this challenge and just hope that I land clearly when the smoke clears. I look at how I've done things and granted while I could've made adjustments, this road traveled must be the one that I'm destined to take.

One thing I would like to accomplish this semester, is trying to be more engaging towards others. I know for a few that's reading this, it's going to be a shocker because how I'm just the type to play the background. Well orientation kind of opened up things a little bit. But I just need to get out of this shell.

Well I may be updating through out the day so keep your eyes opened..Ha yeah right.