Sundays Mean Mondays are on the horizon..

What's good world? I've been gone alllllllll day today. I was at my mother's church for her Pastor's Anniversary. Both services were great and there were a lot of testimonies shared through out the day. One lady told about how she was cured of breast cancer. Two others spoke of how doctor's stated that they couldn't have children but they were proved wrong. When you hear of a person's testimony about how they came from the worst of themselves and became the spiritual person they are, it's an inspiration because here you might be thinking that the world is down on you and nothing is going right. But then that one person will show up and tell their story about how they were into drugs, alcohol, doing all the negative things in life and now they have become saved and living their life for Christ. Now a lot of people aren't too fond of the church, to be honest, I still have my reservations(due to some actions that were portrayed by others.) Now my mother has said that you're going to church to give Christ the glory, but it's always that one or two people there that rubs you the wrong way. My mother showed prime examples of that during service. Church goers can be some of the nicest, humble people that you will meet, but there are others that will make you just not want to show up anymore.

Ok so like I missed Wrestlemania 24. I really wanted to see the Flair/HBK retirement match. That probably was the only match, I was pumped for since Ric Flair has been wrestling since before I was born. And I see folks Y! stats and blogs saying they are watching it and they lucky I don't...wait let me find it..

So tomorrow begins another glorious work week...womp. Well at least Friday is PAYDAY!!!!!

Oh yeah school's back in session too...Double womp.

Unnamed Shoutouts.

1. We came from nothing to something. You were there for me through the tough times and I am grateful for that. You are a wonderful person and I'll always love you for that.

2. You will always be a nuggah in my eyes. We've had great times hanging out. Thanks for being the great friend talk to, share jokes, laughs, pain etc. NPL4LYFE...They will never know.

3. My little sister..lol. What more can I say that hasn't already been said? I swear you always hit me that most odd times asking me what I'm doing with my life. And yes I love you too even though you joke on my age a lil too much. And where the hell are my cheddar biscuits??!!!!

4. We just met like a few months ago and I think you're mad cool. Especially when we are acting plain asses in those bulletins. Ready to put those Vol.'s out so we can make this paper..:cry313:

5. My nigga..I swear we are like two brothers from different mothers. I admire your calm nature even when shit is jumping off. We need to have that BBQ that we always joking about..shit would be memorable.

6. You ma'am are one of nicest females that I've come to know in recent months. You always know how to make me laugh even when the chips are down. I know I can be a pain in the ass at times but you know that I wouldn't trade your friendship for nothing.

7. Lite and bright I mean really though, you have been missing as of late. Well I know that you have a current situation, but I think about you and hope that you are doing well. Keep in touch.

8. Now as for you lady..We've gone back for a minute. So intelligent, loving and all that. I hope that situation is working out for you. I see your "best friend" like all the time...lol

9. She's a writer not a biter..when she writes she channels Hov so when she's done talking hold up your lighters. Ha..you like that right. You ma'am keep on writing and never stop. I love reading your work.

and finally

10. If I would have been doing this a few weeks ago, you would have already been mentioned. But now I look and it's really not the same. We both say it's no issues but still.. We would hear from each other everyday but now it's like we don't know each other at all. I see things between us more clearly. And I hope that he makes you feel the way that you want to be felt.

Disclaimer: Don't leave any messages asking is this one for me or what not. Each one is individually noted and they should know upon reading it.


Pain Comes From Her...

As I sit on this step wondering where did we go wrong?
Moments flash of the days where we had sweet memories..
We were young and full of love.
Wouldn't see one without the other.
She completed me and I made her whole.


He came along. Showcased his charm and stole my spotlight.
I had her first and now she wants to be with him.
What happened to the nights where you told me that I was your only one.
You send him those texts filled with sweet thoughts and naughty sayings.

You see me and you become disgusted.
All I did was l-o-v-e you the way you wanted.
And now I l-o-a-t-h-e your existence.

Back to square one. Please move on with your life and I'll regain mines.
No remains of the soul of he who loved hard.
Just remains of that
broken, discarded, ruined



So as I was heading downtown yesterday evening, I noticed a letter laying on the floor. There wasn't anyone around to claim it, so I looked at the letter and it was addressed from a woman who was locked up. So as I was reading them, the letters go from full of hope to feeling depressed.

All she wanted was a phone call or letters..

I can relate

Brief Jay-Z/Mary J Concert Recap

So tonight(well yesterday since it's past 12 am) was the biggest concert hip-hop/r&b wise to hit Baltimore.

Jay-Z and Mary J. Blige's Heart Of The City Tour had finally rolled into town. The show was sold out hours after they went on sale in February. So I was trying to figure out a way to get into this show. I mean this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to see these two live in concert. So I'll say like a few weeks ago, I met a dude in the barbershop that said he could get me in. So I'm waiting and waiting and waiting some more. He called me today and was like he'll know around 6pm. 6pm rolls around...no phone call. Nothing. So I'm like fuck it, I heads down to the arena and see what I could do. This lady comes up to me and she's like you trying to go. She was selling her $200 seat ticket for $150...Fuck that... I wasn't trying to pay no more than $60. So it was dudes outside selling tickets. So I peeped the ticket and gave dude the cash. Mind you the seat was in Section 324 a.k.a. The Nosebleeds. So I didn't care at this point because I wanted to go to this show and I was just happy to get in there. So Dream was the opening act. I'm sure he did Shawty's Da Shit. When I got there, he was in the middle of I Luv Your Girl and he did Falsetto.

So then it was a brief intermission. Then the stars of the show came out to do their thing. They opened to Can't Knock the Hustle. Then Jay left and Mary ran though such hits as Reminisce, Real Love, Love No Limit and Sweet Thing. When she performed songs off of My Life, I was singing along with her. That's my favorite Mary J. Blige album. Just the dark pain that she went through, produced classic music. She also did Feel Like A Woman, Stay Down, Invisibility, No More Drama(She killed that song...like oh man), Not Gon Cry(Ladies was with her on that), Your Child, I'm Gon Down and Hate It or Love It. She finished her set with Be Yourself, Enough Crying, Just Fine and Be Without You.

Funny moment during Mary's set: When she was doing "I'm Gon Down", the camera was panning the crowd and when it landed on this one girl, all you hear were ewwwws

Then Jay-Z, Hov, Hova, Jigga or whatever you want to call him comes out. He's rapped the hook to Say Hello. He opened up with I Know and had the video playing along on the screen behind him. He performed Give It To Me, Show Me What You Got, Roc Boys, No Hook, and Can I Live. He brought Memphis Bleek out for 99 Problems and U Don't Know. He vibe with the ladies on Excuse Me Miss and Song Cry. Ran through Nigga What Nigga Who and Jigga My Nigga. Rocked H to the Izzo and Dirt Off Your Shoulders and P.S.A.

He teased with Feelin It, Who Ya Wit, Hard Knock Life, Crazy In Love, Money Ain't A Thang, Is That Yo Chick, and Best Of Me(remix). He would let it song play for a few seconds then say fuck that..and cut it off.

He did do Big Pimpin and Encore. Then him and Mary came back and performed Heart Of The City(Ain't No Love).

Show was great in my opinion.

Mary is officially my favorite female recording artists. She always was but her performance tonight sealed it.


Thoughts On A Tuesday.

- Each day, we drift further and further apart. Makes me wish that I hadn't bothered in the first place. I knew what I was getting into and as each day passes along, the hurt gets more and more deeper. I can't blame you, so I won't.

- As I was going home, something popped into my head... Every person that I came across, I stared them in the eyes. You might wonder why. I was thinking that everyone has a story. Like what is that person going through. Their joys, their pains, etc.

- Seems like only one person agreed with me about my views on Tyler Perry.

- I think my song of the week will be "I'm Only Human" by Rick Ross

- Some days I'd rather be left alone, but some people take it as me having an attitude.

- You may look at me and say, "He's a cool guy." But what I know is that you see a person with a scarred past that is still healing from those wounds.

- Some days I just want to scream and let out my emotions. I keep so much built up inside, it's scary.

- Nothing is promised. Except for death.

- Amy Winehouse moment:
I love you much
It's not enough
You love blow and I love puff
And life is like a pipe
And I'm a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside

- I just hope that today is a far better day than yesterday.


Deep Inside

Well as you know(or may not know), I am like a huge Mary J. Blige fan. And the other day, I had posted her Deep Inside video as my video of the day on Myspace. As always when I listen to the song, I try to analyze what is the meaning behind those lyrics.

I don't have a lot of friends
And sometimes I have to wonder
Is it cash they see when they look at me
Cause they're looking for a ride that's free
So I made the choice to be
Good to those who were good to me
Don't judge me or think I'm bitter
For the evil God's allowed me to see
I'm just Mary"

How many times have we looked deep inside the ones that we consider to be "friends"?

Seems as if we may just look at them because they are like us, have similar interests etc. But if you were to search deep inside of them, what would you find?

Same as the ones that we date. Is it that we are steady looking for that perfect mate when we should look for the ones that make mistakes and own up to them. Ones that aren't in it for the sex, money and rock n roll.

I saw Meet The Browns today.

Pretty good movie to say the least.

Finally good to see David and Tamara doing a Tyler Perry movie.

Now being as though I've seen most of Tyler Perry movies/plays, I need to make one request and I think a whole lot of other people would agree:


I mean every play/movie it's built around the same formula.

I think he just need to add depth into his writing, instead of keeping up with the same ol woman down on luck, has kids,
something happens, etc etc etc.

Well I'm tired. So everyone have a great Easter.



As I sit here and listen to this song that was done by Faith Evans and Jay-Z(look it up dummies), I think about the times that I've been "left alone". I never was really the one who needed someone for dependency. If a person didn't want to deal with me anyone, it was fine. I cut my losses and moved on. But everyone has those days where they need someone to talk to. Someone that will assure them that things will be just fine. With everyone, I've tried to be a great friend. But some cases it succeed and in others it failed. I used to think, "Oh let me make myself available so that if so and so needs to talk then I'll be here to talk to them." But now, I've come to realize that not everyone doesn't want to hear the truth. Since the truth can be damaging to their soul and it can cause them to hate you.

Reese(Conscience): Derek?

Me: Yes?

Reese: Newsflash...You're not a SUPERHERO DUMMY!

Me: But, I thought that I was doing the right thing.

Reese: You fucking idiot. You really think they're going to listen to what you have to say? Half of the time they are laughing at you behind your back. But that's just the nice side of you. Ol Derek trying to please the world. Make everyone happy. Muthafucka let them live their own lives. Then once you give your advice, half of the time they don't listen. So why waste your breath talking?

Me: I mean I guess your right then.

Reese: I've been with you for 28 years and we've seen it all. So you got to learn when to let them go.

Time to say goodbye.


Friday Night Recap...

What up world!!! I'm Derek and I've just joined this site. I've seen and heard so much
and I hope that I will enjoy reading what other's have to say.

Now a little about myself:

- Just recently had a birthday. I turned 28 on Tuesday.

- Enjoys music. If it's something you want me to check out, I'll give it an honest listen.

- I don't discuss my private life. I already have my close inner circle that I discuss those things with

- Reading is relaxing, writing is exhaling.

- Favorite NFL teams is the Baltimore Ravens. NBA - Wizards, Baseball - Orioles

So anyway on to the point of this blog. So today was my last day of training at the new job and today
myself and the two other females that I trained with ended up going to our work areas. The two ladies work the night
shift and I work the day shift. Now the only seat available was in the row with where there are 6 other females. So I know folks are like that is a dude's waking wish

Shit not when they are loud and have ghetto-like qualities.

So after dealing with them, I couldn't wait to go out to eat.

Well long story short, I ended up eating Popeye's. Not ESPN Zone or UNO's but Popeye's.

Story of my life...

Anyway I'm looking for Yung Joc and Tre Songz...Not the rapper and r&b singer...