Me Day.

If anyone reads this and is confused by the title, then just read along for clarification.

So originally, I was supposed to had headed out of town but at the last minute I just decided that fuck it, I'll stay home this weekend. So I went to the barbershop and had some laughs. After that, I was just going to go home but I wanted to stop at Best Buy. But ended up walking down Canton (South Baltimore). They really built that place up over the years. Hotels, restaurants, waterfront properties, etc.

So I headed to the Landmark Theaters and I see two of my old managers that I worked @ Muvico with. So I got to see a free movie. But I had like an hour or so to kill so I walked around one of the hotels and sat on the benches and just had a moment to just think. I took some photos as well. (It's the camera whore inside of me lol). Then I realized how close Best Buy was so I went there and I brought The Wackness, Low Down Dirty Shame and I'm Gonna Get You Sucka.

So I head back to the movies to see:

It stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt(3rd Rock From The Sun, Angels In The Outfield, 10 Things I Hate About You) and Zooey Deschanel. The story is that Tom (Gordon-Levitt) falls in love with Summer (Deschanel). (Real stretch right?) But Summer let's him know up front that she's not looking for anything serious but she likes him. So eventually, they kick it doing things that couples do. Through out the story it goes on about certain days (hence the title). Kinda like this, you meet someone and things start out cool but then after awhile things head downhill. And those cute lovey dovey days you had in the beginning turns into dark days of torture. I won't go into too much but I'll drop some quotes:

Tom: What happens when you fall in love?
Summer: You believe in that?
Tom: It's love, it's not Santa Claus.

His little sister Rachel (Chole Moretz) was dropping mad quotables in the movie as well:

Rachel Hansen: Just because she's likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn't mean she's your soul mate.

Quote above hits home.

So after the movie was over, I headed home. It was raining but I didn't care. I was in a great mood, saw other ex-coworkers from the same movie theater.

My soundtrack for today was Joe Budden's Mood Muzik 3.

Listening to this album has gotten me through many bad days. So I keep this on replay, when I just want to sit and vibe out. I won't go into the quotables, but I did that many moons ago.

Other notables during the day:

- Discovered that riding the Water Taxi may not be so bad.
- Canton is a really nice place to live, if you can afford it.
- That love doesn't involve fate.

Now I'm off to upload this pictures.

*2 Fingaz* Deuce.

Breakups.

Tear stained face, makeup laced lens
This was one of many prophetic signs
She looked in my face and started to speak
Voice cracking like she ready to deliver a speech in crucial times
She diverted her attention to a small charm
The one that I place around her after the first date
Who would've known years later that this relationship would flip
Love made us enemies and slowly turned to hate
She sat on the bed with many pillows
Old thoughts of those nights making body heat and feeling her legs shake
She didn't want to let go
Mentally holding on like a boxer not wanting to make a clean break
Her emotional state making me feel guilty and less of a man
Walking away isn't easy nor thoughtful game plan
But the strongest ones tend to grieve and eventually they'll try to understand
Tears will turn to cries and then to wails
Broken hearts will be damaged but repairs will come
Once the next Superman prevails.

Mental Poem (You May Not Understand)

Stuck in a writing rut
Trying to pen lines about my struggles
But that's up to me to solve those puzzles
Wanted to write about her but I rather have her in my wings
Seeing her smile and hearing the melodies that she sings
But quickly that vanished and now I'm back to my reality
Hi I'm Derek Maurice writer, producer and star of this fantasy
Wait...I pinched myself I don't need to dream about imperfections
When I put myself aside to show concern for everyone else situations
Writing this with her on my mind
Hoping that she'll call before I think of the next line
Oh well maybe next lifetime like Badu once sang
Or was that lil birdie saying love of my life
Which is highly unlikely like winning a gunfight with a knife
I'm Derek all day baby I'm just playing my part
No need to write from the blackberry, my words come from the heart
Once again, for you I opened the book
Turned the pages, now the question is do you even care to look?

Times Still Hard

So today we had a meeting where we found out that we lost BMW as a client. So the automobile industry is still reeling in this depression. So now I really have to step up efforts to look elsewhere. I need to get registered for school(wonder where I'll find the ends on short notice?) But anyway, I'm still here(not like much of you care anyway). Until next time....

So as the song plays, the sadness sets in. Nothing but vocals and instruments ring in my ear. No voice, no conversation. Just an occasional stare outside my window at the world that I was raised in. Even the coldest ones, need someone to hold. The red light blinks in distance, but it doesn't replace human contact. As the song plays, the tears fall. Teardrops cause the words to become blurry and the thoughts get lost in the way of memories. You see the truth is, I just wish you were here. Just in the physical form, but things turned out differently. True intentions came out in the form of lust, so we lost our trust. It's possible to just sit and talk and express what's truly within our hearts.

Now back to square one. Trying to regroup and gather the lost pieces that had never been claimed. Often we hear those words that means so much but what are the motives? These four walls would say volumes but all I get is silence. Many people can disguise the hurt so I just bare my soul so that I can show that I'm human. Pain can heal but the scars last forever.

Underdogs

You have the charm, but they aren't with the desire.You do what is expected, such provisions would set souls on fire.You deserve the starting spot, but ballhoggers cause you to ride the bench.While the undeserving gets the spoils, you're stuck trying to survive in the trench.Trying to find the best situation, but it's really no use. Push away the oatmeal and become ammune to the abuse.Die hard fans admire the passion and use it as an inspiration for life.Watch as the championships fade and your soul ends up being on ice.No sense in trying to explain since the scapegoats in the end, pays the price.

Hot As Fuck

Oh the torture. I mean really. I about to bring this AC up and plug this bitch in. Feels like a fucking sauna.

Anyway, we have made it through another week. Some interesting developments were noted. But as we continue on, I hope that everyone has a great weekend.

Fabolous new album Loso's Way drops on the 28th. Album is nuts. My favorite song is Pachanga. Once you hear it, hopefully you'll see why.

I would stay and type but it's too hot.

*wipes the swear off*

4 Days Until Friday...

I swear the weekend just goes by too quickly. I would have took the day off but the cow was acting like a female dog, so fuck her.

Well I may have more to post about later. I need to get ready..

Introducing...

Sophia Marie. She's in the Best I Ever Had video.

Red Light Blinking

When I look down and see the blinking light, I grab to see what it is.
Most of the time it's just a random 9090. Or someone saying hello.
Wake up in the morning, sometimes the red light is blinking.
Someone hit me over night or I have an unread text from a convo that was somewhat interesting.
I have the times when that red light blinks and I'm anticipating .... but it ends you being you. Disappointment all around but hey as long as my red light blinks, then I'm feeling the love.

This Day...

Isn't the least bit enjoyable. Would be nice to hear some comforting words, a nice back rub or something along those lines. But all I hear is constant nagging, rude tones and a bunch of blah blah.

Of course people will say find a new job, do this do that. You can apply to all the new jobs but you can't just not work. I have thought to see a professional, just to see if it was something wrong with me. Your place of employment shouldn't have you feeling stressed to the point of quitting w/o notice. Well I'm going to try to enjoy these last few minutes of my break.

Not A Priority.

Right now, all I need is an angelic voice that sings to the high heavens to put me to sleep. Like for the longest time, I wanted to hear a rendition of Jill Scott's "The Way" just sung in my ear. That's all. But it hasn't been fulfilled yet.

Well on to the post at hand, I feel as though I'm not a priority with certain things. Like I don't like to be a bother so I just stay to myself. So when I walk away, things feel a whole lot better than before. They are living their life and I'm doing just fine in mine.

P.S. - This Maxwell sounds like he never left the game.

Blog Foolishness

1. - Why do I have a serious addiction to Swiss Fruit Punch?
2. - I like being rubbed.
3. - Why I can't seem to find someone that can be as silly as me? I mean on a random tip.
4. - Why some songs from the 90's still can get played like they're brand new.
5. - I still eat Now & Laters, Lemonade Heads, Cherry Clans and other hood candies.
6. - My attention span is mad short. So if you aren't keeping me focused, I'm over there somewhere.
7. - AngieMic told me to blog foolishness so that's what I'm doing.
8. - Am I wrong for being stuck on artists that entertain me. Like if I can pull an old album from the 90's and still enjoy it over the bullshit that I hear today.
9. - It's really hard to talk about myself. Like I can't just go into myself.
10. - I'm tired of folks hating on Jay-Z. Like his success came over night. When you're favorite rapper has a career like him, then holla at me.
11. - Why can't folks just be honest? If you lying to yourself about something, you'll lie about other things too. Just be up front and folks need to learn that constructive criticism isn't the end of the world. Just step your game up.

Ok. Enough for today. I'm sure that it will be more. Bye.

Yeah call me a hater..

I remember when I had the ill crush on Christina Milian.
Now I'm like fuck her cuz she smashing for beats.
LOL but her and The Dream(Miss Jia's favorite R&B singer-- I can get away with this cuz she won't see it) are on the final cover of VIBE. So many magz now biting the dust.

You.. Stay Away!!!

So Mase, we hear that MJ's passing made you want to come back. I spoke with the board and they say NO!!!! When we first saw you on the Only You remix video, you showed promise. Then you dropped Harlem World, sold some records and had folks #dancingandshit. You even went the distance of putting your crew on, Harlem World(Fail) and retired shortly after dropping album #2. Hell you said yourself you're from the hood doing deals with Magic. Then you did some speaking engagements, became a Pastor. All of a sudden, Nelly brings you back. Welcome Back? Breathe, Stretch, Shake...Then you were supposed to sign with G-Unit(What the fuck 50.) So now after leaving the game a second time(I saw the commercial adversting your church), now you wanna come back? I haven't heard the Best I Ever Had Remix but I heard the I Need A Girl Remix. No not the one where Diddy was crying for Jennifer Lopez to come back. I mean Trey Songz(YUUUUUP). I'm sure that you're doing well in Atlanta but seriously don't get back on the mic.

Wow.. I'm Speechless

I was on BBM(Blackberry Messenger) when I saw one of my friends stats say R.I.P. Steve McNair. So then I head on over to ESPN.com to see what happened. The headline read that he was shot multiple times and a female accomplice was killed with a single shot to the head. Now the stories coming out are fishy but when he was playing in the NFL, he lead the model player/citizen role. Very tough on the field, strong arm, played through injuries. I know I hated when he and the Titans played the Ravens on many occasions. Then he came to Baltimore in the 2006 season and led the Ravens to a 13-3 record. Injuries forced him out soon after but as a fan of the league, you couldn't deny his playing ability. Said to see that he had to leave that way. Rest In Peace.

Ten Jay-Z Songs.

This blog is done in conjunction with the homie @Neo_Tha_One on Twitter. So happened that for a few weeks, we would be posting mad Jay-Z songs and just our thoughts on them. So I hit him up and asked him to list ten Jay-Z joints that are hot. He posted his list(I see with have some similarites) and here's mines in no particular order:

1. Regrets - One of my favorite songs off of Reasonable Doubt. The last verse is the one of the best he's spit in my memory.

2. Allure - The Neptunes did their thing on this beat. Jay-Z murdered the track. I like when on Fade To Black when he first heard the beat, how he knew that was gonna end up on Black Album.

3. Ignorant Shit - Isley Bros. sample that so many have used. He just put that stamp on it. So many quotables on this track. Yeah I'm usually what they whisper about/either what chick he with or his chip amount.

4. Money, Cash, Hoes feat. DMX - Swizz Beatz on the track. Hov and Dog killed it. Vol. 2 was a constant banger during my Senior Year in High School.

5. U Don't Know(Remix) - This one was tough. The original and remix are both nice but M.O.P. on the BP2 kinda sealed the deal. You dudes is cake, I keep two biscuits on the waist/Razor blades under the tongue, I will eat your face/Appetite for destruction, I am starvin today/Got a money hungry lawyer that'll eat the case

6. Rock Star Freestyle - This was dope as fuck!!!! I played this S. Carter Mixtape until I had to hide it. You can't be me/I'm a rock star/ya'll rhyming from the back of a cop's car/ya'll pointing out niggaz/like there they are.

7. Some People Hate - One of the reason that I can appreciate BP2. I guess it's just the penalty of leadership/I guess I'm what niggaz wanna be and shit/Or niggaz just bored, wanna be in shit/'Fore they get to rappin, start believin it

8. This Can't Be Life (feat. Beanie Sigel & Scarface) - song is deep on so many levels.

9. A Million & One Questions (Remix) - The original is like a minute and some change. This should've been a just a regular song.

10. Murder Murder Marcyville (feat. Beanie Sigel, Memphis Bleek) - Back when Jay-Z called rappers out.. Sigel and Bleek when in as well.

At night she lays, holding tears in her eyes.
She tries to be tough but reflects on the fights
Only there isn't a winner for this, dreams of a grand prize
She thought that she was in a relationship. She was more in Hell.
Not a paradise. No freedom, just love locked down in a cell.
She said she feels free when she's around me.
But a commitment to the one she's with is why we could never be.
I tried to push myself away from the situation
But the way she touched me caused quite a hesitation
Emotions boiling high
We coming close to penetration
Whoa! Put up the stop sign
Need to vacate this before we end up in regret.
Feelings so twisted, head full of sweat.
We both know the consequences of our actions
And on your end, the result is a negative reaction
No rashes but a loss of trust, a sense of being abandoned
When you walk out that door, it's like you're leaving a broken heart stranded.
So I just pick up the pieces and bandage my wounds
Fight my pain through this storm, so sunny days will come soon.

Try To Remain Humble...

So I was having a conversation with my "best" friend. So she was telling me how her friend used to talk bad about me. So she wouldn't say exactly what she said but I know she had some things to say. But one thing that boggles my mind about people like her: What makes them think that whatever looks, features, etc. will stay with them forever? Most likely no, in some cases the gods have giveth and taketh away from those that deserve it.

But everyone is a victim. Some can just take that tap on the chin a little better than others. The others? Well some just go about their lives and then you have those that take it to the extreme.

But back to the main point, if a person wants to ride me down or what not, that's on them. I think if a person wants to have reason to judge someone else, they need to look in the mirror and make sure that they are free of sin, sickness, medical disorders, etc.

Preference = N/A

Ok take two. So yesterday, I have a conversation with a young lady and the topic if preference came about. So she was saying how she never been with someone that wasn't black. She asked what my preference was and I said that I really didn't have one. Just love ladies all the same. When we are dealing with someone, we have to make sure...well scratch that last thought. Can't say that person is the one and most of those relationships go belly up. But back to my orginal point, no preferences needed. But I don't like smokers.